Thursday, November 29, 2012


Ok, this is going to be a quicky.

I'm on day 5 of my 24-day challenge.  So far, so good.  Cleanse is going as well as can be considered for a cleanse...actually, it doesn't seem so bad this time around.

I have no pics to post b/c I've been very sick and I've been travelling, however, here's my measurements (5 days in...I was out of town when I started).

I'm posting my measurements from several posts ago (that was the last time I measured) so it can be compared to where I am now:

2” above navel
2” below naval

Overall, I'm glad to see the measurements are less that what they were in August...considering my hiatus and not being as loyal to bustin' my fat ass as I should have been.

I'll measure again in 19 days and counting...

Night, all.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

24-day challenge preparation

As organized as I am, I'm not much of a least when it comes to my meals.  Duh...that's 1/2 the reason why I'm fat.  I'm all about convenient, quick and easy meals.  Honestly, I'd prefer just to have a cook that prepares everything for me and plops my dinner down in front of me.  Jetsons.  I need Rosie from the Jetsons.  Aren't we there yet?

As a working mother/business owner I find it almost impossible to 'plan' a meal.  I don't know if I'll be home all week until the week begins and when I am home I'm WORKING; the last freaking thing I want to do is cook.  Hell, half the time my poor daughter knows dinner is ready b/c she hears the microwave beep. *shame*

The closest I can get as far as meal planning is concerned is: Meatloaf Monday, Taco Tuesday, Freebie get the point.  To me, this is a concerted effort.  And GOD FORBID I forget or don't get around to cooking the damn planned husband won't let me live it down (especially if the food I purchased to make said meal goes bad).  Hey, how 'bout you plan and execute a damn meal!?!?!?

Anyways, tonight I took my first step in preparing for my 24-day Advocare challenge: meal planning.  Step one was to identify recipes I'll use and when and then make a shopping list. I immediately became overwhelmed and decided NOT to do that.  Some friends would be disappointed that I didn't do this accompanied by a bottle of wine.

So, instead of actually planning my menu I decided to circle all the recipes I thought I'd like and then make a list of the non-perishable items that I'll need to have on hand to execute such meals.  As mentioned above, even if I plan a meal I may not be 'in the mood' for it or I may 'change my mind'.  I am a woman.  The other thing I couldn't get past is how to rhyme quinoa with a day of the week ;o)

So, here's my efforts:

Dooms Day is Friday (although I might wait until Saturday ONLY because my in-laws are keeping my daughter and I really want a night out)!  So, either Friday or Saturday I'll start this challenge.

Conveniently enough, I'll be travelling from Monday-Wednesday so my 10-day cleanse and healthy eating should be terrific while on the road.  Thank God this 24-day challenge came with great meal planning, advice sheets, etc. as I've already snapped a pic to carry with me on how to eat while on the road.

Finally (and please try to control yourself), I'll be posting my measurements and pictures on either Friday or Saturday...I know how much you love gawking at my fat ass.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


I've relapsed.  No, this isn't why I haven't written in awhile (okay, so maybe a little)...I've just been super busy.

SO, for all my concerned friends out there (and those of you that have just missed my humor...and those of you that just like making fun of a fatty) this one's for you ;o)

George Washington Carver once said, "Ninety-none percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."

Wow.  Perhaps this is why I've managed to stay fat in my adulthood.  I'm pretty damn good at making excuses...just ask my Mom, Dad, Brother, Husband, friends, name it.

I could make up a thousand excuses (okay, maybe not a thousand...maybe more like ten) as to why I have blatantly gone off's a few:

1) Friends.  Friends REALLY suck when it comes to trying to do anything healthy.  Or at least my friends do.  Between the wine-os (if that's even a word...did I spell that right?) and the 'let's have chips, dips and pizza' friends I'm pretty much screwed.  And, being that I am great at excuses...I can almost always find one to drink and/or eat the damn queso.

2) My back.  There's really no excuse here.  This whole hiatus started because my back about gave out on me again.  I took a week off.  A week turned into what, almost a month now?  Damn it!

3) Work.  See all other posts where I talk about work and travel.  Enough said.

4) My husband.  Because I'll always find a way to blame him.  He started out on this whole thing so supportive.  HE was even getting up at 5 am and working out.  He stopped.  I will say that he's continued to eat healthy...and I'm the one that's been trying to derail us there.  Damn it!

The one thing I can say about my hiatus is that somehow I've still managed to keep off the weight.  Perhaps it's my new workout regime:

Excuses and bull shit aside...I'm still sick of being fat.  Fatty Fat Fatty!  FAT! I have decided to do a 24-day challenge.  This will consist of all Advocare products...starting with a cleanse.  [If you haven't read my post titled The Cleanse then stop here, go read it and come back].  You'll see why I'm once again SO excited to do that.

Here's the challenge:

Days 1-10 Cleanse Phase:
The first ten days are about cleansing your body of toxins and preparing for optimal nutrient absorption, and you may enjoy weight loss as well!*
Days 11-24 Max Phase
Give your body the best tools you need to achieve your next weight management goal during days 11-24!*
Now, I know someone who did this 24-day challenge and lost almost 40 pounds.  I'm not that extreme.  This person was mega fit already, uber health food nut and extremely motivated.  Screw that.  I'm somewhat motivated, fat and have to push myself to get the daily amount of veggies every day.  40 pounds ain't happening.  I will however, enjoy the 10 pounds I'll get from the cleanse and any other weight that decides to drop off because of this challenge.  At the very least it will help kick start my weight loss goal again.  I will start this as soon as my order arrives...which will be the subject of my next post...which will include updated measurements and pictures of my fat body.

Of course, part of this challenge will be getting back on board with my workouts.


Side note: it has been great to hear people say they can tell I've lost weight. I need/want to lose more.  I CAN DO THIS!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Top 5...and more.

First off, sorry it's been over a week since my last post; it's been a perfect storm of illnesses, busy work schedules and out-of-town visitors.  I'm not super woman...this blog commitment may be more difficult to uphold than my commitment to eat healthy.  BUT I wouldn't want you to miss out on my stolen Pinterest comics that make you laugh and my honestly about fat.  So, I write on!

This week's blog was inspired by my CO buddy that came to visit me this past weekend. 

NOTE: visitors are NEVER good for healthy living.  End. Of. Story.

Top 5 things that are your worst enemy when trying to live a healthy live style:

1) Yourself.  Yes, you heard me right.  YOU are your own worst enemy.  Face the fact that you have no self control and blame your derailments on your husband, friends, whoever or whatever comes to mind.  If you are anything like me you're probably already very good at doing this.
See, she'll end up blaming the waiter.  Point validated.
2) Your friends.  Friends are supposed to be supportive, encouraging, blah, blah, blah.  Well, where was this 'support' when my 'friend' suggested we get What-A-Burger at 2 am?  Hmm???  Going back to Point #1 you cave in since you're not to be trusted...and then you can blame your friend ;o)  Cami...your fault!  I have more friend stories of how they try to derail me as well - WTH?   What's wrong with y'all?  Don't you know I shouldn't be eating: pizza, queso and chips, Mexican food, burgers, fried foods, etc, etc, etc?  You know I'm a fatty - what do you think I'll say when it's 1 am and we've been enjoying the high calorie drinks you've been feeding me all night?  You suck.  You all suck.
3) Alcohol.  There is no healthy drink.  There is also no drink that doesn't get you drunk.  Don't lie to yourself either - you won't just have 1 or 2 drinks.  Not if you're with your friends.  And if you're not with friends and you're drinking alone, well then - you're a loser.  You should drink...a lot...and then go eat pizza.
Unfortunately, all three things I've mentioned so far are inextricably bound.
4) Ranch dressing.  See earlier blog.  Apparently some of you non-Texans recall loving ranch on various food items.  I'm still convinced this is 1) a Texas thing and 2) my husband's fault.
5) Traveling.  Still trying to battle this one out.  I'm sorry, but hotel powdered eggs suck.  Holiday Inn Select hotels suck b/c they serve the best cinnamon rolls ever.  Sigh.  Last time I stayed in a hotel (last week) I ate oatmeal and a banana.  Not bad.  It's a good thing I don't travel as often as some folks.
I actually attempted to make this a top '10' list but found myself coming up with crap that was just too stupid.  Feel free to add on your own tops in the comments; I'd be willing to add to this in another blog.
The past 1 1/2 weeks were tough.  Did fine but was a little disappointed in myself a few nights.  Back on track and moving forward.
I'm down to 205.  I think I can get down to 200 or less in the next couple weeks and will make that my goal.  Still drinking lots of water and trying to make healthy food choices - at least it's easy at home b/c we tend to keep only healthy stuff around the house now-a-days.
I bought a new scale - an expensive, professional one.  Don't know why...but figured I should.
Bought a measuring cup that has a scale built in for getting exact servings, etc.  Don't know if it'll help, but I figured WTH?
Bought a noodle measuring device so we can  cook the right proportions if/when eating whole grain noodles - figure this was the best purchase of those mentioned so far.
And I heard about Dr. Oz talking about raspberry keytones and how they can help in weight-loss efforts when paired with a well-balanced diet and regular exercise.  Going to try it; I'll keep you posted!
Until next week!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

And if the train falls off the track pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!

This is likely to be a hodgepodge of a post 1) because welcome to my mind and 2) because it's been one hell of a week since my last post.  Here it goes.

Last week started off well!  I worked out 4 days in a row and was eating pretty well.  I was SO proud of myself and was even bragging to my husband.

This takes me to my first thought:

Working out in a hotel.

This is a thought many of us travelers have yet rarely do (at least us fat travelers).  SO many times in the past I've packed gym clothes and running shoes and stated I'd workout at the hotel - yeah...NEVER actually happened.  Well, it did last week.

There is a reason why people don't workout at hotels.  1) horrible equipment, 2) smelly 'gyms', 3) why the hell would you?  You're either A) traveling for work and exhausted, B) traveling for pleasure and exhausted or C) traveling for pleasure and hungover.  BUT I did it!  For the 1st time I can remember since 2008 I worked out in a hotel gym.  It felt SO good!  I was SO proud of myself.

And then I went to dinner.  Yup.  I celebrated my workout by ordering southwest egg rolls and a wedge salad.  Something's not right here.  Sigh.

This was the 1st derail moment last week and here's a Pinterest pin I feel suits it (you know I LOVE Pinterest):

SO, I started off last week by getting off my ass, yet I decided to eat garbage.  I felt ashamed of myself...SO ashamed that I did this the next night:

I ate pizza.  Derail moment #2.  Not only did I eat pizza, I didn't work out.  Do I get any credit for ordering a thin crust pizza?  I mean, I did save calories that way...right?


I actually have a reason for eating pizza: I was training all day, had meetings, took a flight home and God damn it...I just didn't feel like cooking.  It wasn't DiGiorno - it was Domino's.  Again, I felt ashamed of myself.

Then came Friday.  Friday was OK food wise, BUT I didn't workout.  We'll just save time here and I'll let you know that I didn't work out again until today.  Yup...a 5 day hiatus.  What made me feel even better about not working out was putting on a pair of pants on Saturday that I ultimately had to change out of because my fat made me uncomfortable.  Not uncomfortable in the "do I look fat way", uncomfortable in the "my buttons are digging into my belly and leaving a mark way."  Gross!  I changed.

Derail moment number 3: Friday night girls night.  Enough said.

Derail moment number 4: Prior night's shenanigans made me want greasy food.  How is it that greasy food somehow cures a hangover?  I honestly tried to be good.  I ate a salad with grilled chicken on it for lunch.  Wasn't cutting it.  SO I proceeded to eat tortilla chips and queso for dinner.  Yes, that was my dinner.  Does it count that I was watching college football?  That's an excuse...right?

From what I recall of Sunday and Monday I got back on track and ate better.  Today was also a good day; I had a great workout and had a conversation with myself.  Yes, I actually spoke to myself...out loud.  I told myself to be strong, that I can do this.

Getting back on track...I'm taking my train wreck of a self and moving along.  I can be unhappy about the derailments, but I have to move forward and let it go.  I CAN DO THIS.  I WANT TO DO THIS.

Switching gears...I had a follow up appointment with my back doctor today.  He said I can NEVER run, do squats, etc again.  THAT should derail me.  It won't.  I'm determined to walk this weight off if that's all I can do and eat right.

Speaking of eating right...I have to thank my sister-in-law, Hollie, for the breakfast and meal ideas she sent me today.  It's great to have the support of family.  Additionally, another person posted in an earlier blog about how they make their green shakes (as I call them) with almond mile.  Taking their advice I made mine today with almond milk.  Not only was it great...but almond milk only has 40 calories compared to the 100 from 1%.  Right on!

Erica, remember this:

Monday, September 3, 2012

"I can feel the fat melting away"

Friday night I had a FANTASTIC dinner.  A rosemary and wild mushroom marinated pork loin with lemon pepper french green beans.  As I continued to snack on the steamed green beans after I had finished my meal my comment was, "I can feel the fat melting away."

It feels SO good to eat healthier.  I still crave and miss my fatty foods, but when I don't eat them I feel SO good. 

Today, while my daughter ate pizza for lunch at the mall, I resorted to a Caesar salad and some pasta salad.  They were light, yummy and good portions.  It almost killed me to make the decision to choose the salad over the huge slices of pepperoni pizza staring me in the me, eat me... but then, images such as this roll through my mind:

Suddenly, a salad doesn't seem so bad!

I figured this would be a good point to fill you in on my diet:

No sodas.  Gone...completely.
Any grain I eat is whole grain
Any bread I eat is a sandwich thin - whole grain
Gluten free waffles
Turkey bacon
Eggs (my new best protein friend)
Lean meat (pork, chicken, fish)
Fresh green beans
Green leafy lettuce
Fruit (bananas, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, apples)
My green drink
TONS of water (and I mean TONS)

Those (off the top of my head) are the items I can think of that I'm eating regularly (with the exception of the gluten free waffles and turkey bacon...I only eat those now and then.

In addition to my healthy eating, I'm working out.

I've been successful at working out 3-4 days a week.  Here's what I do:

35 minute sweat out on the treadmill (actually found this on Pinterest).  However, instead of adjusting the speed as they show on this, I pretty much stay between 3 and 4 mph (usually 3.5).  I can only walk really fast - I can't run due to back problems.

After this I work on core strengthening using another workout I found on Pinterest:
I repeat that cycle 2-3 times depending on how much time I have.  I also hold the side planks for 1 minute each and add in push ups and regular crunches.
At some point I will venture to start using my husband's Bowflex, but for now I'm focusing on cardio and core strengthening and STRETCHING.  Every good workout requires a good stretch.
If anyone reading this (is anyone reading this?) has any good workout suggestions I'm all ears!  My husband keeps telling me to go to and check out their stuff...apparently it's fantastic.  However, that would require less time on Pinterest and well, that is not likely to happen ;o)

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Big FAT Truth

Do you ever feel like this?!?!?!

LMAO...I found this on (you guessed it, Pinterest) and cracked up.  I bet you a fat person wrote this.  I'm reminded of a girl I was 'friends' with on Facebook.  She was SO skinny and SO pretty and her 'motto' was, "you are what you eat."

In all my fat stupidity her quote pissed me off.  I felt like it was a slap in the face from a skinny bitch who probably threw up most of her food.  But really...I was jealous.  I didn't eat healthy and I am fat - so when I thought about being what I eat I didn't have a great image of myself.

Image.  It's everything - isn't it?  This is what image used to be:

Could you imagine?  Eating ironized yeast to add weight?  Right.  For the record, I don't think there is anything wrong with either woman in this ad.  I also don't agree with society's current trend of super skinny women.  What I want is just a healthy image.  I'm tired of hiding behind clothes and abusing food.

Moving on to bigger and fatter things:

No fat chick ever wants to see herself without clothes on - no less show the world what she looks like under her clothing.  The thought of actually posting pics of myself makes me cringe - but I said I'd do it and it's part of my motivation.  Perhaps other fatties out there will also find this as inspiration and join me in my quest to battle the bulge.

SO, here it is.  THIS, in all my fat glory, is ME:

I'm sure you're glad to see I went way out of my way to do my hair and makeup really nice for my cameo appearance.

Told you I was fat.  Could it be worse?  Sure...but it's bad enough.

To further put myself to shame, I also promised I'd give my measurements - so:

2” above navel
2” below naval

Unfortunately I did not take pics nor measurements 3 weeks ago when I started this journey and my cleanse.  So far I've lost 8 pounds - and who knows if any inches.  BUT I feel better...and healthier...and I cannot wait to post pics throughout my blog as I lose weight and transform my body into something I won't be embarrassed to show.

People will ask you why you're wanting to lose weight.  Here's one of my 'why' reasons:

Hopefully, at that point, people will also be asking me how I lost the weight. 

So, what am I doing?

Still eathing healthy.  From what I understand that's 1/2 the battle.  I'm still trying to get the several small meals a day down...but I have significantly turned around my eating habits.  If I actually become what I eat then I'll be that skinny bitch I frowned upon on Facebook.

In addition to diet, I'm working out.  My workouts currently consist of the treadmill (varying routines at varying inclines) and core strengthening.  Due to back problems I cannot run or do any high impact workouts...I do plan to add in some weight lifting soon.

Perhaps, in my next post, I'll put in my actual workouts to seek feedback.

That's all I got tonight...may visions of fat chicks dance in your head as you lay to rest.